Final Thoughts

I am writing this on the plane as I fly over Korea and Japan. It still hasn’t really hit me that I am gone, I am leaving, I am going home. People kept asking me all week if I was excited and I would say yes, and I was, but I was also really sad. I am conflicted. Chengdu has been my life for the past year, for better or for worse, and I was leaving at a time when I felt like I was just starting to get settled in and find my place there. Maybe that means its time to go though, or maybe it just means I’ll be back. I am sure as soon as I am home I will be so excited to be there, but right now I can only think about all the things I am leaving behind; friends, China adventures, bad air, good food. However, now I can make Chinese food and I will keep in touch with all the great people I met here and no more China adventures just means on to new adventures.

This last week was amazing and crazy. I was hanging out with the Marines a lot and their house is really Western, so it was a little bit of transition. I made cookies and peach pie and got to watch ESPN and the Simpson’s on TV. I had all my finals, all 7 of them, last week which was a little stressful. I didn’t study as much as I usually do, but fortunately they all went pretty well. I also just decided that I was not going to let myself get stressed out about this last week, so I made sure I did a lot of fun things too. It was weird because all week I just couldn’t get my head around the fact that I am going home. I just couldn’t believe it or even start to think about it. I just had to take it day by day. Enjoying every minute and soaking it all in. I also had a lot of goodbye events that I had to go to. Huangjie and I, of course, had one last dinner together. She also told me she wanted to buy me a present so before dinner we went to the Shopping Street, Chunqi Lu. She took me into a jewelry store and told me to pick out a necklace. I couldn’t believe it. I started refusing adamantly saying that it was too much and I couldn’t accept it and she could just buy me dinner and I would feel too bad if she gave me something so nice. But she, as usual, would not be dissuaded. So in the end she picked one out and gave it to me. It is very pretty, but all those things about feeling really bad receiving such a nice, expensive present were true. I wore it that night when we went to dinner, which thankfully she allowed me to pay for. I also went to the pool to say goodbye to all my swimming friends. We took lots of pictures, which hopefully someone will send me, and they were all so nice. I really was sad to say goodbye to all these people who have been so good to me. Then we had one last goodbye dinner with the UW group and associated teachers. We went to a restaurant that Andrea picked out called Da Rong He that was literally one of the best restaurants I have been to in Chengdu. It was a twist on regular Chuan cai, so new dishes and done perfectly. Delicious! A perfect send off. Then Laura, Deborah, and I went to the Marine house for some of my peach pie. After that I went to Shamrock Bar to have a goodbye party with all my expat friends. It was really a wonderful night and I am really going to miss it.

Now after a LONG flight, I am sitting in the San Francisco airport waiting to get on my next flight to Seattle in a few hours. I walked into the terminal and saw Burger King and Peet’s Coffee and I just couldn’t stop smiling. I’m here! It’s a very weird feeling, I guess I don’t really know how to feel. Tired and relieved a little bit. I had to ask one of the airport people if I needed to re-check my bags or if they would be checked through and as I was walking up I started thinking about asking the question in Chinese and suddenly realized, no, I can just ask in English. Everything is so much easier here, that’s what I notice most so far. Like tap water. If I want water, I just walk to the tap and put it in a glass. No boiling, no finding a water machine. It is no longer the coveted substance it was for an entire year. But I am home, so I am signing off here. Thanks everyone for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.